November 21, 2020

How to overcome fear of death

The leaves have been falling to the ground. We are in the time of late autumn with its rhythm of Ending. This season connects us with our spiritual nature of our being. It carries the emotions of sadness and grief, but also inspiration, fullness, and faith. This is part of the life cycle. You let go of the old to make room
for new life.

Cultures around the world honour the dead with beautiful traditions and festivals, most of them taking place in autumn [How Cultures Around The World Honor The Dead]. How come that beyond our differences of nationalities and cultures, we all have in common to remember and connect with the departed ones? Because there is one certainty in life… and that is death. We cannot be certain when our time has come to part into another realm but we can be certain that there will be a time. Making peace with the energy of autumn, the Ending, is a start to overcome fear of death. Being ok with the fact that life is only temporarily. That doesn’t mean that you are giving up, or you will die because you didn’t try harder. It is actually the other way around, if you are at peace with life on this earth being transient, that you are a visitor here, and you ask yourself daily questions like…

  • What can I focus on today that makes this day important to me?
  • What is the best use of this day?
  • How can I make this day special for me… and others?
  • What do I need today to have a beautiful day?
  • How can I feel more at peace in my body, my mind, my soul?

…you put your attention towards life, and where you put your attention is where we put your energy, and (physical) matter follows energy. Another aspect of overcoming fear of death is looking at what exactly you are afraid of…
Is it…

  • the unknown
  • the uncertainty
  • being judged (by God or some other greater force)
  • the fear of more suffering
  • the fear of separation, to leave your loved ones behind
  • the fear of extinction

Looking at these questions reveal thoughts and beliefs that might not have originated with you. Where are they coming from? Who else thought about life and death this way? Overcoming fear of death involves looking at your fears, and going on a quest to find answers that give you peace of mind, and open your heart. This is a journey… you might start looking into stories of people who had Near Death Experiences (NDE), and what they saw, and how it felt [NDE]. You might study the beliefs of certain cultures, or religions about death. You might find that you don’t believe in a life after death and feel ok with it. There is no right or wrong, there is only what makes you feel at peace. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross observed that the best way to prepare for your eventual dying is to meet with consciousness the “little deaths” life continually provides… There is a heaviness in these tasks [of completion] and you know the grief of what might have been but was not to be. With maturity, however, an autumn’s grief transforms into an identification with the whole cycle, at peace with life, at peace with death.” from Donna Eden, Energy Medicine. I had a beautiful conversation with a long-term cancer surviver the other day who shared with me what her doctor said to her: “It is not about the quantity of days, it’s about the quality”… and this is how she lived her life with cancer.

Aspire to live every day like “The Best Day Ever”.

Much love and peace,